Book review written by Latise Hairston
Brown,
B. (2017). Rising strong: How the ability to reset transforms the way
we live, love, parent, and lead. New York, NY: Random House Inc.
Have
you ever experienced pain, failure, heartbreak or any kind of adversity? You’re
probably saying, “Who hasn’t?” In any bookstore, you will find a large
selection of self-help books on overcoming adversity because life is filled
with a plethora of hardships.
In Rising
Strong, Brene Brown focuses on a portion of the quote from Theodore
Roosevelt’s speech, The Man in the Arena,
“The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is
marred by dust and sweat and blood…” Arena moments are any times in our lives
when we have “risked showing up and being seen.”
The Rising Strong
Process is comprised of 3 parts:
1.
The Reckoning: Walking into our story
2.
The Rumble: Owning our story
3.
The Revolution
Integrating is the engine that
moves one through the reckoning, rumble and the revolution. The tools that are
used in integration are storytelling and creativity. Creativity is defined as
“the act of paying attention to our experiences and connecting the dots so we
can learn more about ourselves and the world around us.”
The Reckoning
In Brown’s research she found that people who rise strong are able to reckon with their emotions by first recognizing that “a button has been pushed, something is triggered”. Secondly, they get curious about what is happening and how they are feeling about it. Brown explains that curiosity is correlated with creativity and problem solving.
So
how do we reckon with our emotions? Brown offers three techniques: permission
slips, paying attention and tactical breathing. Permission slips are just what
they sound like – writing permission slips to feel emotions. Paying attention
involves taking deep breaths and becoming mindful of our feelings. Tactical
breathing involves breathing in for four seconds, holding the breath for four
seconds, breathing out for four seconds, and holding it.
The
Rumble
The
rumble is where we “own our stories.” First, it is necessary to dive into the
uncensored story that we tell ourselves, which means it is probably not
accurate. In her research, the people who were able to “rise strong” became
aware of the traps of the first stories that they told themselves. Many people
become stuck in their negative and harmful stories which Brown calls
conspiracies and confabulations.
To capture the
first stories Brown says that we need to use the second integration tool –
creativity, by writing down our SFD (“shitty first draft” or “stormy first
draft”). The SFD is an unedited story, letting it all pour out. It doesn’t have
to be a long narrative. It can be written on a post-it note. The intention is
to embrace curiosity, awareness and growth.
The Revolution
The revolution involves writing a new ending to our story based on what we have learned during the rumble. Brown explains that the revolution starts with a vision of what is possible. Rather than running from our SFD’s we dig into them knowing they can unlock the fears and doubts that get in the way of our wholeheartedness.
I really enjoyed
reading this book. The content was in alignment with my definition of
creativity. “Creativity is to push pass the inner voices of limitation and
lack; to move toward possibilities and potential and manifest them” (Hairston,
Easter Sunday, April 16, 2017). The
‘person’ that is manifested is the product of a lifelong practice.
Sid Parnes recognized that the way we
think and talk about problems prohibits us from seeing them as creative
opportunities (Parnes, 1988). We tend to complain and see our problems as
static. Parnes believed that rephrasing problems as open-ended questions could
encourage the brain to develop new connections (Parnes, 1988). Further, Osborn
(1953) said “But even better than painting or any other such hobby is the more
strenuous exercise of energetically tackling the causes of our despair, and
creatively thinking our way through to serenity”. (p. 53)
In
the world in which we live, we are often socialized by the critics all around
us; however the loudest critic often lies within. It says “no” to who we are
and can be. We must dare to stand up to ourselves, to move pass the inner
critic and listen to the voices of who we were meant to be, what we were meant
to do, and the awesome change we were meant to make in the world. This requires
vulnerability. It requires daring and intentional living.
Ekut said “if we are to break habit-sets and move into new original way of
viewing our problems and challenges, we must find ways to break old mental
associations or connections and form new ones” (2014, p. 312). Brene Brown in Rising Strong provides a step by step
process with detailed techniques that allows us to examine “the stories we tell
ourselves”, to break the old association
and to develop new stories that allow us to rise strong.
References
Brown,
B. (2017). Rising strong: How the ability to reset transforms the way
we live, love, parent, and lead. New York, NY: Random House Inc.
Etuk, E. (2014) Creativity: Revealing the truth about
human nature. Sarasota, FL: First Edition Design
Osborn, A. F. (1953). Applied imagination: principles and
procedures of creative thinking. New York, NY: Scribner.
Parnes,
S.J. (1988). Vizionizing. Buffalo, NY: Creative Education
Foundation.
Latise
Hairston is the Founder and Chief Creative Officer of HOPE Consulting. She has
held a position at the SUNY College at Buffalo for over 20 years collaborating
with organizations to develop creative strategies and products that strengthen,
energize and empower customers. Latise holds a M.S. in Counseling and a Ph.D.
in Leadership and Policy (concentration in Organizational Development), as well
as certifications as an International Coaching Federation coach and FourSight
facilitator. She is currently completing a M.S. degree in Creativity and Change
Leadership at the SUNY College at Buffalo.